Misanthropy

Things I’ve written in the past. Not sure what you’d call it.

My descent into madness continues
My spiraling fall into despair quickens
The demons in my head won’t leave me
I have no idea what to do
All I can think of is you.
Time is running out
Someone, let the demons out
Give me a hint or a clue
Tell me what to do.

Torrents of rain pour down upon my soul,
Darknesss obscures my vision.
The cold wind blows and chills my body,
An eerie howl echoes through out the night.
Blindly I trudge and stagger in the cold dark of the night,
Slowly I fall to my knees.
I reach for sky, arms outstretched towards heaven.
I ask for guidance,
I hear silence.
The rain gets heavier.

The journey of life is long and perilous
Remember this and you may succeed
Nothing lasts forever, pain is garunteed
Expect the unexpected.
Hold on to your dreams but realize that they are only dreams.
Good luck.

Alive without life, blindly seeing the way,
Nothing but dreams and desires guide us
Pointing fingers, placing blame, oh whom can we shame?
Get the mop, clean it up, this mess causes too much stress.
Day in, day out, think think think, contemplate, and deliberate.
We all need to take a break but too much is at stake.
We twist and turn and stumble around, only to fall on the ground
Without a hand to help us up we stagger to our feet.
Grasping, feeling, flailing, reaching, blindly seeking in the dark
Another day passes us by but all we can do is cry
Tears of shame and blame, we regret and repent
We love to fight and fight to love, if we could only be true to ourselves
Save eachother some pain and time, let us get on with this quest of life.

-How it is
D.G. ‘01

I want to cry, I want to die.
The sadness grows inside slowly feeding at my soul.
My emotions are in a mix, how the fuck did I get like this?
I have a secret I cannot tell, be wary the fires of hell.
Why did this happen to me, I truthfully cannot see.
I assumed with the passage of time my feelings would no longer hurt my mind.
Turns out I was wrong as they only grew for you.

-Despair
D.G. ‘01

Lightning rips through the night sky as my heart cracks and shatters.
I scream into the darkness Why?
I fall to my knees and begin to cry,
Oh god tell me why.

-Pain

I have no history
No memories to share
Do I exist in this place?
I can never be who I want to be.

How can these feelings be true?
I know it can never work.
Why do I set myself up to fail?

I am bound by shackles of misery and pain,
Held in place by bolts of hope forged with dreams.
I cry out my wishes and fall silent.

My heart cracks with each beat
My blood darkens with torment
My veins shrivel and shrink
I am left cold and broken.

I can never be who I want to be
Why do I set myself up to fail
I cry out my wishes and fall silent
I am left cold and broken
Please save me.

-Prayer
D.g. ‘01

All we are is dreams and desires.
Hopes and wishes give us life.
Few are those who can fulfill their dreams
Few are those who are alive with life.

Many are we who see our desires crash and burn.
The pain I cannot describe when one witnesses the death of their dreams
What can we be, how can we live without goals and desires to work for.

Shattering dreams, crumbling hopes…
The pitter patter of misery rains upon us
A world of broken hearts, bitter spirits…
A world ruled by regret and what if’s

We cannot stop.
Instinct and nature makes us chase these whimsical fantasies.
Truth tears them down and buries them.

-Truth
D.g. ‘01

“Let the skies darken with evil,
Let fire and brimstone rain upon the earth.
Let the rivers flow red with blood,
Let the innocent perish in agony.
The harbinger of terror’s wail echoes through the land,
The darkness swallows the sun.
The horizon undulates with fear,
The end is near.”

-The End.

The Darkness

The fiery golden tendrils of the sun desperately grasp at the sky
seeking to linger a moment or two
more as it slowly slides behind the Horizon.

The warm and security of the mighty sun fades from consciousness.

An easiness bestills the land and a calm cold breeze begins to blow.
Shades of grey fall upon the world, shadows are born into the
countryside.

The breeze stirs up and begins to whistle,
The darkness arrives.

The minions of the dark are released to wreak havoc on the world.

Sorrow, pain, agony and solitude sweep the land.
The silence of the night shatters with the shrieking moans of tortured
souls as the wind gusts,
The night lives.
The face of the world distorts as it darkens and grows cold.

Virtues die, solace breaks.

Sin beats as a living cancerous tumor in the mind.
Its tentacles grasp and pull at the vestiges of humanity.

A heartless beast is created from all the evil within us.

Reflecting in the broken mirror is a picture of us.
Welcome to the flipside of the coin, the dark side of life.

My descent into delirium continues
My fate is sealed by the demons in my mind
The crashing of thunder breaks the silence of the night…
The peaceful rays of moonlight fade behind clouds of despair.
My heart cracks, my heart bleeds.
I pray to you god on my knees
Let me become a faint whisper on the breeze..

Truth destroys my heart even though I knew it from the start.
It is a foolish quest that I can never end.
Maybe it was a divine test to see how stupid I really am.

Hour after hour, day after day.
The sands of time dwindle away.
What do I choose, what do I say
What must I do to send this misery on its way?
The grains of sand fall away.
Into my despair I am led astray
Guide me back into the light,
Without you I cannot fight.
Please oh please answer my plight,
I beg of you, be my light.

Life is but a journey and I am without a map.
I wonder aimlessly into the unknown.
This quest I am on, touched by countless others.
New direction and guidance, deceit and pain they have given me time and
again.
So many years without a light, without any truth, I traveled alone in
dark despair.
In the most unlikely of places I found a heavenly light.
Piercing my shroud of darkness, an angel of pure beauty was sent to me.
My world and my heart was filled with new meaning,
My soul was warm.
Then I faltered, and I tripped.
I crossed a forbidden line.
I saw the angel was in pain
I thought I could help.
Led astray I failed, I fell to my knees..
My face on the ground, my hands reaching for her
Will she take my hand and help me up?
Will she return from where she came, leaving me in the darkness?
I think I can feel her warmth fading, but I cannot see.
I believe in the end my heart will be broken and my soul will cry.
The cold of the dark creeps up behind me…

Too many times I’ve tried, too many times I’ve cried.
The burning flame of desire that I had flickers and fades,
My heart grows cold, my soul grows numb.
My silent prayers carried softly on the wind went unanswered,
The demons in my mind laugh and mock me.
When shall I learn the one true way,
Being bitter and closed is the only way.
No more bruises on my heart,
No more daggers in my soul.
I will wander this life alone.

Sunshine
———

In your smile I can see the sun,
It radiates a loving warmth and glow.
To everyone you meet, to everyone you see
You bring warmth and peace and fill them with glee
Your eyes brighten our days,
I know god filled you with the sun’s golden rays.
Even when it’s dark and cold,
Your presence brings us joy.
You are a ray of sunshine that we all adore.
You have a part of the Sun in you, i know that for sure

I walked alone in the cold,
My heart strewn about in many pieces.

I walked alone in the dark,
My soul’s crys were heard on the wind.

In the dark I searched for hope,
But I stumbled and fell.

In the dark I was on my knees,
Reaching to the sky, asking why.

I saw a beam of light,
My darkness began to fade.

I saw a ray of hope,
The cold began to stray.

No longer was there any dark,
No longer was there any cold.

My life was full of light,
My life was full of warmth.

I now walk with you in the warmth,
Together we can mend our broken hearts.

I now walk with you in the light,
Our souls can be at peace.

You are my light,
You are my warmth.

I still remember that night,
Like it was only a moment ago.
You told me how you felt,
Since then I never wanted to let go.

We grew close together,
We shared many things.
Day by day I ponder,
What the future will bring.

God had sent me an angel,
He had sent me you.
For a moment I thought,
That it would be only us two.

I love to gaze into your eyes,
it’s like being lost in the deep blue sea.
I long to hold you in my arms,
so that you can feel free.

I loved when you used to gaze at me,
I felt like the sun rays were shining on me.
I long to feel the warmth of your lips,
I am sure it is nothing less than bliss.

I know you dont have the same feelings for me,
It stabs at my soul, this you can see.
One day I hope that you’ll see,
It should only be you and me.

No matter what you choose,
Or what you do.
I will always be here for you.
This is the promise I give to you.